Champagne for my real friends...
Posted by JBR Mon, 28 Jan 2008 18:08:00 GMT
YOU CAN DRINK CHAMPAGNE EVERY DAY—ASK ME HOW!
Thanks to the syphilitic profligacy of the French aristocracy, drinking champagne with one pinky sticking straight out has long been a mark of nobility. To judge by mainstream media coverage, it seems that only fabulously wealthy rappers and hip-hop artistes carry on this tradition, quaffing Kristal and Dom Perignon by the jeroboam.
Sir should not be fooled! While proper champagne is always produced in a certain region of France, and tends to be pretty pricey, there are plenty of other equally tongue-tingling bubblies, produced in other parts of the world, that are well within the reach of the budget-conscious rockstar.
One of the best places to shop for bubbly is Trader Joe’s. Sir should try the asti! At around $7 a bottle, sir and sir’s entourage can enjoy glass after glass of slightly cloying but remarkably smooth sweetness, swarming with delicately effervescing bubbles that rise in such a constant swarm that sir will wonder if somebody dropped Alka-seltzer into sir’s glass. The prosecco, at around $9, is less saccharine but still a bit sweeter than most dry bubblies. Their selection of dry to brut bubblies is also quite good, but none are jumping to mind as especial recommendations. Although it has its partisans, I recommend against the Freixenet.
If sir has no Trader Joe’s nearby, or if sir is the sort of Byronic aristocrat who just can’t stand its comfortable boojiness, sir should not be above picking up some Andre at sir’s local corner store. Served very well chilled, Andre’s drier varieties (starting at around $4) are perfectly palatable, and will bring that special quality that only bubbly possesses into sir’s social evenings at a price that even the noblest poverty can afford.
Some general comments about bubblies:
1) How to drink it: Of course sir should consider chugging it right out of the bottle, as such notables as Mick Jagger would no doubt recommend. If sir prefers a more conservative approach, champagne flutes or martini glasses, probably available at sir’s local thrift store, are the preferred vessels. Bubbly should always consumed well chilled; if it becomes warm, it loses its carbonation and begins to taste syrupy.
2) A rough-and-ready guide to bubbly terms: BUBBLY – wine with bubbles. also “sparkling wine.” DRY, EXTRA DRY, and BRUT – three designations of sweetness/dryness. “dry” is the sweetest (much as “tall” is the shortest Starbucks cup), “brut” is the driest. CHAMPAGNE – bubbly produced in the Champagne region of France. colloquially, any bubbly. CUVEE – a bubbly produced from a blend of different wines. PROSECCO – an Italian bubbly, usually as sweet as or sweeter than a “dry” bubbly. ASTI – a very sweet bubbly from the north of Italy. SPUMANTI – asti produced outside of the traditional asti regions. both asti and spumanti may also be labeled “moscato.” CAVA – a Spanish bubbly available in different degrees of sweetness.
Armed with this information, sir should be fully prepared to swill bubbly on a daily basis, and capable of furnishing a pleasing variety of bubblies ranging up and down the sweetness scale.
